The first time I held you

You were whisked off to NICU and I didn’t see you for the rest of the day as I was too sick to get out of bed. Dad showed me pictures and videos off you….you were super tiny only 1.4kgs. You had so many machines hooked onto you. The next day dad begged me to come and see you but I was too scared as I’d already started blaming myself for you being so tiny. Eventually dad wheeled me to the NICU. My heart broke when I saw you in that state. I cried everytime I saw you. On the 14/04/2016 (5 whole days after you were born) I got to hold you for the first time. That was the first time we bonded and I couldn’t wait to hold you  again. Unfortunately the very next day we were told that you had jaundice and we weren’t allowed to hold you for the next few days… Lol now everyone fights with me when I don’t give them a chance to hold you but it’s only because I’m making up for all the times I couldn’t hold you.